Sunday, January 27, 2013

10 Signs of the Gumpification of America

certainly mean no disrespect to Forrest Gump, who I absolutely adore, but is America  getting more stupider or is it my imagination?  

Here are 10 reasons, in order, of why I'm concerned Americans' collective brain is turning to applesauce.

10.  Using words that aren't words like "gumpification" and expecting everyone to think you're witty and clever when really you're just a moron. 

10.  Honey Boo Boo.

9.  The belief global warming is fictional.

8.  All things Kardashian.

7.  Rush Limbaugh.

6.  Needing police to keep the peace on Thanksgiving night so shoppers won't hurt one another as they race to get those pre-black Friday deals.

5.  Mississippi (I would have said Florida, but they have Disney World and that place is awesomeness).

4.  Honey Boo Boo (I'm sorry, but that show counts twice).

3.  Facebook users who post pictures of themselves holding signs saying something ridiculous like, "If I get a million likes my husband will let me get a puppy."
Lady, here's a tip: Get the puppy and ditch the husband.  You can do it even without a million likes!

2.   Fox News.

And the number one piece of evidence suggesting our nation's dwindling intellect...drum roll...

1.   Congress!!

1 comment:

  1. I thing Honey Boo Boo deserves 3 mentions, but I don't know what other one to take out. Maybe our list should have 11 items!!