Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Girl Scout Cookie Diet

We've all heard of the South Beach diet, the Atkins diet, Weight Watchers, and various cleansing diets.  They all have pros and cons.

I feel it is time for me to share my Girl Scout Cookie Diet.
It's perfect for vegetarians or carnivores.  There is no counting points and no counting calories.  You just need to have a strong desire to eat your weight in Girl Scout cookies to try something new.

As I said in Those Cookie-Pushing Girl Scouts!, I really do think there is crack-cocaine in Girl Scout cookies.  Why else would we spend so much money on a cookie?  My diet takes advantage of the crack-cocaine cookie goodness so you don't even feel like you're dieting.

These cookies really are perfect for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

After doing much research, I believe one can supplement Girl Scout cookies for actual food.  Perhaps this diet isn't right for everyone, but this will be my diet until I run out of crack-cocaine cookies. In other words, this is really a one or two day diet unless you purchase several cases of cookies.

You can thank me later:


Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Start the day off right with a fistful of the powdery goodness of Savannah Smiles.  This cookie is practically a fruit with its lemony goodness. Two to three fistfuls of these cookies is the equivalent of one serving of fruit.

Follow that with crispy but light Trefoils.  These are a perfect breakfast scone-like treat. I've personally decided that one box is the equivalent of a rationally sized breakfast.


Even if you are in a hurry, this lunch comes together quickly.

The Do-Si-dos are like a gourmet peanut butter sandwich.  A dozen Do-Si-dos equals half a sandwich.  Do not feel bad about eating two dozen cookies. There's peanut butter in these cookies and that means protein. You need protein.

Don't forget to have another serving of fruit so shove a few more fistfuls of Savannah Smiles in your mouth. Mmmmm.

Afternoon Snack:

You are now probably feeling a bit shaky.  This is perfectly normal.
Once you eat an entire box of Tagalongs, you'll start to feel much better.  The chocolate serves as a little dose of caffeine your body needs mid-afternoon, while the peanut butter on a crisp wafer is the perfect balance of protein and carbohydrates.

I find taking two ibuprofen at this point also helps.


Serve your family a normal dinner.  Pick something that requires very little thought on your part because, quite frankly, you are probably having a difficult time concentrating at this point.  Might I suggest a can of ravioli, or something? Don't forget to heat it or your family will become suspicious.

Trust me, you do not want to share your diet with them because they will then want your cookies or they will judge you.  Neither is very helpful to your effort to follow the Girls Scout Cookie Diet.

After your family is fed, open a box of Somoas and eat the entire box.  The coconut and chocolate will revive your spirit.

Again, have about two or three fistfuls of Savannah Smiles.  Fruit is a very important part of a healthy diet.

For dessert, treat yourself to a sleeve of Thin Mints.  You deserve it!

Congratulate yourself on sticking to your diet.
Who says diets are hard?


  1. I've tried this diet--it didn't work!!

    1. I'm on day 2 of this diet. I just can't put down the Tagalongs.