Sunday, February 5, 2012

Super Super Bowl Stomach

Ahhh...Super Bowl Sunday.

This is the only day other than Thanksgiving when I can eat all the food imaginable without it counting towards a single Weight Watcher point.

Glorious, glorious Super Bowl Sunday!

For that reason alone it's a holiday, and I resent that we don't have the following Monday off. I need time to digest all of the high-caloric carbohydrates I will consume. My stomach literally becomes its own super bowl filled with an assortment of high caloric dips and chips.

Let me take a moment to share my Super Bowl menu. We will serve the following: wings, nachos, stuffed potato skins, artichoke dip, Doritos, cheesy fries, mozzarella sticks and....hmmm...I'm forgetting something. I'm sure it contains cheese.

No, we are not having a party. Our children are not invited to join us either.
My husband and I sequester ourselves in a room where he will watch football, and I will eat like I've not eaten since last year's Super Bowl.

Super Bowl Sunday is the one glorious day of the year when the world seemingly tilts on its axis. I eat every appetizer known to man, and I look forward to the commercials.

I eat with a fury that is actually frightening. Sadly, I'm usually bloated and stuffed 47 seconds after kickoff.

I fight to stay awake as the carb coma slowly tries to drag me into unconsciousness. My Super Bowl resolution today is to hold off on the quesadillas (that's what I forgot!) until the start of the second quarter. Not sure I can do it.

As for which team I want to see win? Who's playing?
I'm cheering for the commercials!

I'm a big supporter of commercials featuring athletic horses, singing dogs, or darling children doing darling things. Any commercial featuring Betty White will also work. If a commercial comes on that isn't funny or thought provoking, I risk slipping back into a food coma.

Really, any commercial other than the Big Daddy commercials are acceptable.
What's up with those soft porn commercials? I want the women to keep their shirts on and I don't want the commercial to include any references to farts or other bodily functions. I hear enough about that in my daily life.

Those belching and farting commercials have the potential to upset my very delicate stomach.
And I will have none of that!

Go Patriots!
(My hubby made me write that.)

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