Saturday, April 7, 2012

Save the Chocolate Bunnies!

When my daughter was six years old, she sat down at dinner one night and proclaimed she was a vegetarian. One day she could very well be a vegetarian, but at six??
I tried not to panic since meat is a staple on our dinner table.

"A vegetarian? What's it mean to be a vegetarian?" I asked innocently.

"I don't eat whale."

"Well, you're in luck," I say. "This happens to be chicken, and I promise to never serve you whale."

"I don't eat any extinct animals, mom."

This is when I assured her that chickens are not going extinct, and I promised never to serve her whales, Bengal tigers, or African cheetahs.

With that, my daughter shrugged, picked up her fork, and gobbled up her chicken. So much for her brief foray into vegetarianism.

I am not a vegetarian. I can eat foods that have faces. Cow, chicken, fish. Mmmmmm. All good!

So someone please tell me why I whimper at the thought of eating a chocolate bunny?
I cannot do it.
I cannot even buy chocolate bunnies for my children.
I cannot do it.
I cannot and will not eat a chocolate bunny.

I'm not even sure I would know how. Do you bite off the ears first?
What sort of barbaric person can buy a darling, sweet chocolate Easter bunny and then bite off its ears?

I prefer to eat chocolate bars or chocolate in any shape that does not resemble that of a small bunny. I'm really not a chocolate snob. Just don't make me bite the head off a chocolate bunny. I cannot do it.

Let's consider the plight of chocolate bunnies this time of year.
They line the shelves in their cute little cardboard boxes. They wait innocently to be purchased. Easter morning arrives and the plastic is greedily removed, momentarily freeing them from their boxed captivity. Just when they think they might have an opportunity to bunny hop with their fellow chocolate bunnies, they are lifted into the air.

The the last thing they hear is someone biting off their ears. Then, in all likelihood, they remain earless until they are tossed into the trash because, let's be honest, chocolate bunnies are not the best tasting goodies in one's Easter basket.* Everyone knows the peanut butter eggs are the crown jewel of the Easter basket. As an aside, I have no moral qualms whatsoever ingesting my weight in chocolate peanut butter eggs. They are faceless chocolate ovals filled with goodness.

*Note: My husband claims chocolate bunnies are delicious and I don't know what I'm talking about.

To him and others I have only one thing to say.

Save the chocolate bunnies (and the whales, too)!

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