Friday, March 9, 2012

My Daddy is a Pageant Star

How many kids can say that? Mine can!

Yes, this will practically write itself.

My husband is a pageant star.
Can I say that one more time?

My husband is a pageant star.

Honestly, that must be the strangest sentence I have ever written. The words "my husband" and "pageant star" are so grossly unrelated that I can hardly understand the sentence, and I wrote it!

Hubby works at a university (it happens to be the same university my BFF, Matt Lauer, attended, but that's another story altogether). Hubby was asked by a service fraternity to be in the pageant which is an annual event to raise money for St. Jude's Hospital. The fraternity finds several suckers faculty members to volunteer to be in the pageant. It's a creative idea for a wonderful cause.

Like any supportive wife, when I learned hubby was asked to participate, I spent nearly 5 minutes laughing before I could ask, "What's your talent?"

I was momentarily worried that this opportunity to mock my husband would unravel should we be unable to identify his talent. I suggested he sing. Not because he can, but because it would make the entire evening all the more enjoyable for me.
(Insert evil laughter here.)

I nominated myself to be his manager. I watched an episode of "Toddlers in Tiaras" in hopes of getting some good tips. Instead, I ended up with indigestion and night sweats. Are those people for real?

As it turns out, hubby juggled while wearing a clown wig and a red nose.
His bitchy manager didn't even suggest the wig and the nose. It was all his idea.
Yes, his gonads are the size of melons.

Sadly, there was no swimsuit competition and a tiara was not required.

In the end, he was not crowned the pageant winner, but in our house he is a total pageant star!

Nobody else in our house can say that...blessedly.

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