My husband is a health nut. Well, to be fair, he's really more of an exercise advocate. He has, and I am not kidding you, only missed 2 days of exercise in over 2 years. 2 years!
He frequently sends me links to articles in hopes of encouraging me to
get off my fat ass and exercise more. The latest article "Lack of Exercise asDeadly as Smoking, Study Finds" seems to suggest that instead of just
feeling guilty about not exercising, I could have been chain smoking
instead. Is there no justice?
So recently, in an effort to
get him off my back show him
I value his every word, I started exercising with my children. This was a hair brain idea and you should not
attempt this at home. Seriously. Don't do this.
First, I convinced my 11 year old to go for a run with me. I was hoping for a slow 2 mile jog where we would watch butterflies fly by us while talking about boys, puberty, and my love for her.
Yeah, I'm a numbskull.
Instead my daughter viewed this leisurely trot as a sprint event. From a distance I realized my daughter resembled a gazelle. At least, that was my impression as sweat (or was it tears?) poured into my eyes creating a blurry vision of my little girl smoothly gliding away from me. She was graceful, fast, and focused. It was beautiful to watch until she was so far ahead, I could no longer see her.
She was sweet enough to circle back around to me.
At that point, she looked puzzled as she asked, "Mom, when did you get so slow?"
I would have responded but I couldn't breathe.
Two days later my ego was nearly healed when I decided to take my 9 year old son to the bike path. I thought he could ride his bike while I ran behind him. Well, that's a total joke. No way could I keep visuals on him. I certainly tried but my legs were no match for my son's biking speed. I did draw stares from other runners as they passed me. I can only assume they were overcome by the smell of blood, sweat, and tears emitting from every pore of my body.
My son waited patiently for me and then asked, "Geeez, mom, did you take a break or something?"
Again, I couldn't form an adequate response since I was unable to breathe.
I can only assume exercise is contraindicated for my physical well-being.
To celebrate my renewed, albeit limited, interest in exercise, I took the kids out for ice cream.
Shhhhhh. Don't tell my exercise advocate!