My husband is a health nut. Well, to be fair, he's really more of an
exercise advocate. He has, and I am not kidding you, only missed 2 days of
exercise in over 2 years. 2 years!
He frequently sends me links to articles in hopes of
encouraging me to get off my fat ass and exercise more. The latest article "Lack of Exercise asDeadly as Smoking, Study Finds" seems to suggest that instead of just
feeling guilty about not exercising, I could have been chain smoking
instead. Is there no justice?
So recently, in an effort to get him off my back show him
I value his every word, I started exercising with my children. This was a hair brain idea and you should not
attempt this at home. Seriously. Don't do this.
First, I convinced my 11 year old to go for a run with
me. I was hoping for a slow 2 mile jog
where we would watch butterflies fly by us while talking about boys, puberty,
and my love for her.
Yeah, I'm a numbskull.
Instead my daughter viewed this leisurely trot as a
sprint event. From a distance I realized
my daughter resembled a gazelle. At
least, that was my impression as sweat (or was it tears?) poured into my eyes
creating a blurry vision of my little girl smoothly gliding away from me. She was graceful, fast, and focused. It was beautiful to watch until she was so
far ahead, I could no longer see her.
She was sweet enough to circle back around to me.
At that point, she looked puzzled as she
asked, "Mom, when did you get so slow?"
I would have responded but I couldn't breathe.
Two days later my ego was nearly healed when I decided to
take my 9 year old son to the bike path.
I thought he could ride his bike while I ran behind him. Well, that's a total joke. No way could I keep visuals on him. I certainly tried but my legs were no match
for my son's biking speed. I did draw
stares from other runners as they passed me.
I can only assume they were overcome by the smell of blood, sweat, and
tears emitting from every pore of my body.
My son waited patiently for me and then asked,
"Geeez, mom, did you take a break or something?"
Again, I couldn't form an adequate response
since I was unable to breathe.
I can only assume exercise is contraindicated for my
physical well-being.
To celebrate my renewed, albeit limited, interest in
exercise, I took the kids out for ice cream.
Shhhhhh. Don't tell my exercise
advocate!
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